Guys only have two emotions, hungry & horny. If you don't have an erection, I'll go make you a sandwich.

long may she reign.

Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don't have to. But you probably will because I'm hilarious.

You had me at Aloha. No one likes a shady beach so I'll sea you real soon.

in search of the adventure of a lifetime. distractions are encouraged.

Act now before this deal gets away!

I'm not saying I'm bad at this. I am saying you could help me get better.

I can score you a window seat in the mile high club.

i'm just here for the views in your hiking photos.
